![]() "I am perfectly comfortable with the belief that the end is the end," she says. Joan, a non-observant Jew, also facing terminal cancer, feels strongly that this life is all there is. But I know others who want to dump their own religious certainties on me and that can be terribly offensive." The "just listen" admonition may be particularly appropriate here. "People willing to share their thoughts on the possibilities of something more than this mortal life have been really helpful to me. "It's important to differentiate between 'spiritual' and 'religious'," says Sara, another woman in her fifties with cancer now defying intervention. One man uses this effective greeting with a close friend who is dying, pausing quietly between phrases: "How are you doing physically?". Try to avoid offering instant solutions or pleasantries, instead saying, "That must be awful/gratifying/painful/frustrating/wonderful," or whatever single word fits. Critical to talking with someone who is dying is practicing the art of listening: be present and wait or ask a question and wait. Simple expressions of concern are what most of us, living or dying, welcome, especially if the expression comes from a good listener. ![]() "I love you," according to the woman above, "is sort of a generic OK expression in the case of those who are dying." Or, if you are a close friend, to say, "I love you" and let it go at that. The best solution is often to say nothing at all, simply to be present. "I weigh my words to avoid burdening my friends, and they stay away because they think they don't know what words to use."ĭon't let a concern for saying the "wrong thing" keep you away from a friend or loved one who's facing death. "Somehow it seems a little unfair," says one 55-year-old woman suffering from metastasized breast cancer. After the diagnosis comes breaking the news to friends and family, dealing with colleagues and neighbors, finding new ways to speak about the unspeakable. Strange as it sounds, the terminal diagnosis is often the "easy" part. The following was compiled with the help of several terminally ill friends and advice from others who work with individuals facing life's end. But beyond hugs, words are what we have left. Do not be worried and upset do not be afraid.Words fail most of us when someone we love is dying. Peace is what I leave with you it is my own peace that I give you. Please help me remember that you are in control and show me how to rely on your for strength and comfort today. Remember that I have commanded you to be determined and confident! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for I, the LORD your God, am with you wherever you go. Encourage me through your Spirit to know that even though I can’t heal my loved one, they are being cared for by you. Help me to feel your presence and comfort today. Help me to be at peace knowing you care for them.ĭon’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart. And God's peace, which is far beyond human understanding, will keep your hearts and minds safe in union with Christ Jesus. I wish that I could fix them, but that’s not possible. Lord, watching someone I love suffer from illness is painful. If you are anxious about a sick loved one today, join me in praying for them and for you as we read through Scripture below: The Bible tells us that “God’s love never fails” (Psalm 136:26b CEV). And God cares for the ones you love even better than you can. But God can give you strength to face the uncertainty. Seeing someone you love suffer from sickness-whether you live far away or close by-can sometimes feel impossible to bear. Have you every felt this way? Are you struggling to cope with the sickness of your loved one? When I feel powerless to help the ones I love when they’re sick, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed. But even with that momentary assurance, I knew I would have to live with the knowledge that anything could happen to my dad at any moment-and I would be powerless to stop it from happening. The doctors said he’d go home in a just a few days. But because we didn’t know what was wrong with my dad, I couldn’t even busy myself with searching causes, treatment, and prognosis on WebMD.Īfter all of the anxious thoughts, wondering, and “ what if”s, the news came that my dad just needed a pacemaker and should be fine. ![]() So I kept up a steady stream of texts, calls, and voicemails. I felt powerless, and my anxiety kicked into overdrive. I’ll be right there,” but I couldn’t-because I lived eleven hours away. I wish I could’ve said, “I’m getting in my car. It all started with a phone call that caught me off guard. ![]()
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